Script Development- Implementation of Feedback and Group Feedback.

After my meeting with Craig, I immediately went back and implemented what he had suggested, especially in terms of structure and it made the film 100% better for it. It flows much better and makes much more sense because of it. At a point I was happier with it, I had a tutorial with Kathleen where she went through some things on the script:

• Amy should be called Jen
• Jarvis wouldn’t wear a watch
• More natural dialogue (Jarvis and Pete)
• Jarvis should look at Debbie on a tablet
• Get rid of toilet scene, drug should be taken in the cafe
• Try the film with and without the narration as it gives away too much of the plot.
• Should get rid of coffee shot at the beginning because people think waitress is main character.
• Shahid’s storyboards don’t match the atmosphere of the film, he needs to meet with Tom more to discuss how shots are set up for VFX.

I went back over and changed some of the things Kathleen said, but I didn't agree with everything she suggested. Then I let the rest of the group have a look. 

Laura gave me a pdf with a lot of notes on, mostly small things to do with dialogue re-wording, and minor details. She had some concerns about the ending, but I disagreed and sent an email to Craig asking for his opinion. He said it was solid, and Laura had a re-read and she agreed that it wasn't as bad as she thought. 

The rest of the group seem to have the same concerns. Shahid mentioned that he didn't like the flashbacks at the end, and felt that it was too 'Fight Club' and that we should have a transition shot instead. Also Lauren voiced a concern about the beginning scene in terms of style and it fitting with the rest of the film.

I agreed with most of what was said by the group, and liked the idea of the transition shot that Shahid mentioned. I also understood Lauren's concern and aim to have a conversation with Shahid to see how it could be lit and shot to allow it to be consistent stylistically. I now think the script is getting to a point of being something that everyone is happy with. Which is perfect and on schedule.