Script Development- Meeting with Craig

After a couple of re-writes of the script, Kathleen sorted out a tutorial with Craig Jordan Baker, the creative writing lecturer on campus to look at my script and give me some feedback on it. I found the meeting very helpful and it really helped me look at the script in a different way. The topics we discussed were:

-Structure
-Dialogue
-Scriptwriting format/technique
-General Feedback

The main thing that was brought up in this meeting was to do with the structure of the script. The structure of it meant that there was too much setup to the story and the ending felt rushed if we were to make a 15 minute film. So his advice was that I introduced Pete's character in a lot earlier, with an establishing scene with him to allow the audience to know why Jarvis is waiting in the cafe and to set up their relationship faster, then to have him arrive by page 4. They then have conversation, and Jarvis is starting to come around to Pete's way of thinking by page 7. This then allows more time for the story to resolve.

The next thing was the actual scriptwriting format. I was writing a sort of mix between a spec script and a shooting script. What Craig advised that in order to focus on the story I leave the shots out at first and then come back to it later and do a full shooting script.

Another thing was that Debbie had more to say than she should have done. If Debbie is an extension of Jarvis's consciousness then she shouldn't say what he's thinking. She should say something that then leads on to him finishing the thought, but not necessarily finishing her sentence.

Other than a few other bits, I asked Craig what he thought of the script in general and he said it could be a strong short film if I got the structure right and improved on the areas we discussed.